Weekly JOKE :
"It's Dark in Here"
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes
over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the
woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the
closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It`s dark in here, isn`t
it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist
continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he
is in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but
complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when
she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in
the closet with her little boy.
"It`s dark in here, isn`t it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his
disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is
completed.
The next weekend, the little boy`s father says "Hey, son. Go get
your ball and glove and we`ll play some catch."
"I can`t. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to
hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That`s thievery! I`m taking you to the
church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for
forgiveness", the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws
the curtain, sits down, and says "It`s dark in here, isn`t it?"
"Don`t you start that shit in here now," the priest says.
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Weekly Quote : 10
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES
1. ANYONE can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the
right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right
purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy.
2. Shoot for the moon.....even if you miss you'll be among the stars.
3. A short course in Human Relations:
The six most important words : "I admit I made a mistake."
The five most important words : "You did a good job."
The four most inportant words : "What is your opinion."
The three most inportant words : "If you please."
The two most important words : "Thank you."
The one most important word : "WE"
The least important word : "I"
4. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want
is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
5. Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
6. If you have a penny and I have a penny and we exchange
pennies, you still have one cent and I still have one cent.
But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange
ideas, you now have two ideas and I now have two ideas.
7. If you think you are beaten, you are. If you think you dare not,
you don't. If you like to win but think you can't, It's almost certain
that you won't.
Life's battles don't always go To the stronger woman or man,
But sooner or later, those who win Are those who think they can.
8. IN HIS Creed for Optimists, Christian D. Larsen tells you how you
can be somebody. Be so strong that nothing can disturb your
peace of mind.
Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make
all your friends feel there is something special in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything.
Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the
best. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are
about
your own. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater
achievements of the future.
Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to
criticize others.
Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.
9. The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
10. During the devastating earthquakes in Kobe, Japan, an American
newscaster did a short piece on a Japanese woman who set up
a
makeshift store out of boxes selling flashlights and
batteries. When
the commentor asked why she wasn't selling these essential
items
for more than the regular price, the woman answered,
"Why would I want to profit from someone else's
suffering?"
Dream your dreams tomorrow because, today, life goes on..
contributed by Shrikant Karwa.
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Weekly Story :
- " When I Saw The Flaw !!! "
This is a story with a beautiful message that we wish to share with all
of you. Happy reading.
A water-bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a
pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the
other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of
water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the
bearer delivering only one and a half pot full of
water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,
perfect to the end for which it was made.But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own
imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been
made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water-bearer
one day by the stream."I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"
"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because
this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to
your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work,
and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.The water-bearer felt
sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the
master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun
warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But
at the end of the trail, it still felt badbecause it had leaked out half its load, and so
again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on
your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always
known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it.I planted flower seeds on your side of
the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two
years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's
table.Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his
house."
" Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots.But if we
will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table.
In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. "
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